Monday Morning Devo - Walls and Wells

And he strengthened himself, built up all the wall that was broken, raised it up to the towers, and built another wall outside; also he repaired the Millo in the City of David, and made weapons and shields in abundance. (2 Chronicles 32:5, NKJV)

A bunch of years back, some people hurt my feelings pretty bad--people that I trusted. Not just once--a few times.  The details aren't important, but the wall I built because of getting my feelers hurt is. Never mind that I earned much of their scorn Walls can be a good thing to keep out bad influences, but in my case I built it to keep even good things out. Including God.

I slid down behind my wall, making sure nobody could get close enough to hurt me again. Whenever I found another brick, I'd build the wall a little higher. At first there were windows so I could see out--but other people could also see in and observe how dirty I'd become. More bricks.

But I was lonely and thirsty behind my wall. I wanted someone to talk to--but who could I trust? My wall became a prison.

Outside my wall was a well, deep and pure and cool. On the edge of the well, Jesus sat, dipper in His hand, just waiting. I would have to leave the safety of my wall to get that drink of water.

Jesus always invited, never demanded. He waited for me to come to Him.

It's taken time to make a hole big enough to come out. I had to sneak out when no one but Jesus was looking because of the dirt all over me. Once I got to Him, it all changed, because the water He gave me made me clean.

But I still dashed back behind the wall--even though I was clean, I didn't want anyone but Jesus close to me.

Then I told my family how dirty I'd been--they forgave me and I felt a little cleaner. While they were around, I would come out. And I met Jack, but I told him how dirty I was so he could save himself from me. Instead, he came inside my wall and held me tight. A few more bricks fell off the wall, and I married him.

I can't say all of the wall is gone. A few bricks still hide me when I'm afraid people might see the old dirt--then they might not like me any more. When will the last of the wall disappear? Maybe never. But maybe I won't ever lock out the ones who love me again.

Lord, Please help me. I need to know that You will protect me when a wall won't. I need to learn how and who to trust. Help me to step outside my wall and drink from Your water. Help me remember I can always trust You, above all. Amen.