My soul melts from heaviness; Strengthen me according to Your word. Psalm 119:28
I am in the grieving process. Most of you have been in that same situation at some time; some have had short times of grief, some very long. Sorrow is pretty individualized--it varies by both situation and person.
It's been a month since my beloved passed, and most days I relate to this verse for at least part of and sometimes all of each day. My soul melts, and I really need God's strength to get through. While my husband was ill, God gave me the strength to be there for him. I slept well every night. I could get up and go back to the hospital or care facility to spend the day with him.
After he passed, I spent a good deal of time feeling guilty for not being there during the time when he went through that veil. Was he anxious (as he often had been) or trying to escape where he was and "get back to his life?" Did he call out for me? Did he need me and I wasn't there? I promised I would be there as long as he needed me, and I wasn't.
I will never know. But this much I do believe: that he now knows I wanted to be there for him, that I didn't deliberately desert him to die alone; I think he's enjoying time with his Lord and with his friends and relatives who beat him there; and I think he's looking forward to the day when we can be together again. So am I. And I thank my wonderful Lord for that assurance.
I won't give up. This heavy melting soul will again praise the Lord with joy and lightness. Meanwhile, I cling to the grace of God and His abundant strength that is there when mine is not. Thank You, Lord.
2 comments:
Continuing to pray for you, Anne! Grief is a strange, long, and very personal struggle.
Norma, you are such a blessing!
Yes, I'm still grieving--but God is here, ever present and ever helping. I couldn't do it without Him.
Thank you for the prayers. Personally, I'm praying that as I post the Lord will help some other sorrowing people to hang it there. One day the heaviness will pass.
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