I don't usually post on Sunday, but perhaps there's a need--maybe only for me, but maybe also for many people grieving today and for a while into the future.
I can only imagine the depth of the pain and shock the families of the children and adults who died yesterday in Connecticut. A newscast said one person ran from the scene crying, "Why, why, why?"
It's a valid question. When horror happens, I think most of us ask why. Why didn't God intervene? Why didn't He stop the shooter? It's enough to destroy the faith of a believer.
Or make believers become stronger, or bring someone who never knew the Lord before to new faith. Why is it that some grow stronger while others wither and die?
God made us. Why didn't He make us better people? Why did He allow any of us to become warped enough to kill or to hurt others? Why doesn't He stop pain and suffering?
He could have made obedient, peaceful humans. He could pull this string or that and make them go here or there and do this or that, no argument. No one would ever get hurt, no one would ever get sick, and no one would ever harm anyone else. But He didn't. Why?
What do you think? How do you offer comfort? What wisdom can you give when grief goes this deep?
7 comments:
Anne: I don't know that any of my words could offer comfort for someone who has faced something as horrific as the families in Connecticut did last week. I haven't gone through such tragedy, and even if I did, I don't know the hearts of these people or the questions they want answered. But God does, and He will comfort. How? He will use someone willing to be there for the families. For a while, it could be that no words will bring comfort. In those times, it's important to stay quiet. If you're directly or indirectly involved with the crisis, and your heart aches for answers, pray alone and ask God why. He's not afraid that His children will question Him. David questioned God quite often. But you can almost guarantee you won't hear God's still, quiet voice until you're ready to receive it. Likewise, the parents who have just lost their children, the families of the adults who died, they might not be ready to hear God's answer. In times when I can't begin to realize the pain or grief someone carries, I find that it isn't my words that comfort. Most often, it's a listening ear, a silent hug, and even sitting alongside them to cry--no words spoken. And when it comes times for words, I do know they need to be chose carefully, prayed over thoughtfully, and we need to ask that God comfort them rather than we try to comfort them without His help.
Wonderful thoughts. Thanks, Fay. Anyone else?
When I don't have any answers, I don't try to come up with things to say to those who are grieving. I think that only makes it worse. Instead, I love them, try to be there for them, and pray for them.
Great answers, ladies. There is nothing worse than "pat answers." I can't imagine telling a parent who has just lost a child, "she/he is in a better place," or "it was God's will." And to say "I know how you feel" when we have never been through such a horrific experience ourselves? ReallY? Can we begin to even have a idea how they feel? I think not.
So, be there when they want you there, give a hug when you know it will be welcomed, pray with them if they want you to, alone for them if they don't. Give them time. Give them room. Give them love.
Thanks, ladies. I so appreciate your responses. I agree. Platitudes don't help. Hugs (when appropriate) work wonders. Listening and saying nothing more than "I love you" or "I care" or "what may I do to help" might be better. Crying with them might bring a healing that a thousand words cannot. God bless you.
I'm late in opening your post, but I want to comment.
We do NOT have the answers, but we DO know God does. The Newtown 'incident' is very painful to me since I have grandchildren that age. It's painful, and scary.
Could it be that God is saying "Let Me back into your schools!"?
I queried all my online prayer partners asking if they remember saying The Lord's Prayer when they were in school. About half of them did. One even remembered that a local church came into her school and did a religious study for the students. That was in the 1960s. How awesome is that!
SOMEHOW, we MUST get Him back in schools. We, as parents and grandparents, have to do something. I heard on the radio the other day that MADD (Mothers Against Driving Drunk) started with one woman. It became a groundswell. Surely, we can do that, too.
If anyone has ideas or thoughts about that, feel free to email me. It will go into my junk mail, but I check that every day. Considering how close it is to Christmas, I may not respond until after the first of the year. But, I believe we need to, must, come up with ideas, even a plan.
Yours in faith,
Bonnie
bengstrom@hotmail.xom
Thanks, Bonnie. I learned the Lord's prayer in school from my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Mary Pierson. I think that's why so many parents are chosing to home school their children or send them to Christian schools. I don't know what the answer is--only God does, and He hasn't revealed it to me. I think He must be weeping, too.
Post a Comment