Legal Property

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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

This Is My Story - Painful Lessons

Some of the most painful happenings in my life were due to my own messups. I would give a pretty penny for an undo key in life. And yet--sometimes they have provided invaluable lessons that resulted in growth in my walk with God. Invaluable to me--but sometimes bringing long-term harm to others.

One of those experiences happened in my early 30s. I had two good friends, A and B. Their husbands worked together on electrical transmission line construction, and both families moved from one project site to another. They lived next door to each other in the small town where we lived. One had small children (A), the other had none (B).

A's mornings were busy. She had a young boy to get ready for school and the other, a toddler, up and dressed while she fixed breakfast for her kids and her early-to-work hubby. Any of you who have had similar situations might understand the frustration of dealing with those mornings only to have someone drop in.

Which her neighbor did, daily.

A expressed her frustration to me. B called and asked if I knew what was wrong with A because she was acting strange. Thinking I would help the situation, I told B perhaps she should wait a while later in the day before dropping in on A and maybe not quite so often.

A bad mistake. B was understandably upset.

HUGE tension between A and B ensued that lasted the rest of the time they lived in that town and on to the next place they lived. Complicate that with the information that they both attended the same church and went to the same Bible study/prayer meeting. Eventually, they forgave each other and again became friends.

No thanks to me.

The lesson learned? Never share confidences given to you. Never. Not even if you think it will help. It's not your secret to share. Bite your tongue, sit on the secret, do not share the confidence. It's gossip, and it can do a lot of damage.

Have you had hard lessons to learn?

1 comment:

Anne Baxter Campbell said...

Perhaps I should add a codicil or two to that post:
IF the person is talking about an intent to harm themselves--maybe you should alert someone who can help them.
AND IF the person is thinking about committing a crime--that too should be reported.
Otherwise, keep the confidences.