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Monday, May 22, 2017

Monday Morning Devo - Widowing

...I am full of heaviness; I looked for someone to take pity, but there was none; And for comforters, but I found none. Psalm 69:20, NKJV.

For those of you who have not lost spouses, this blog isn't for you. I'm not saying you haven't experienced grief, just that each grief is different.

Sometimes I feel like Jack was ripped out of my life--like tearing a picture like the one above. There are heavy days, still, and moments when missing him is nearly unbearable. I love that God has comforted me, but a warm hug from a friend is so healing. You know what I mean if you're a widow.

One caution--guys and gals need to be very cautious about comforting each other. This is a vulnerable time, and you don't need to set yourself up for a guilt trip. There's enough of that in the grieving process.

I talked to some of the other widows in our church on Sunday about starting a group for widows and widowers.

Remember those special occasions when you and your spouse used to do something together? You know, like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s day? Or those times when a trigger of some sort sends you spiraling down, and you need a hug and/or someone to talk to who knows exactly how you feel?

This group would provide that. Whoever is available can go along, and you can lift a glass to the departed one. (No, it doesn't have to be anything alcoholic.) The get-togethers can be in a home or restaurant. Or maybe a long trip together--a cruise, a road trip to the beach, or whatever.

Think about it. Talk to your widowed friends. You would not only be helping yourself but also helping someone else (or several someones) in the process.

Oh--and if your grief is for a departed child or sibling or parent? Think about starting a group for that. Think about reaching out instead of shrinking in.

Lord, please teach us true religion--about loving and caring for and comforting the widows, the parentless, and the childless. For it is in reaching out to give comfort that we are comforted. For Jesus's sake, Amen.


  1. Anne--A bereavement group[ can be HUGE in your recovery. My wife passed on March 27th. Today marks two months. My first wife died almost 15 years ago (cancer). I had forgotten how the pain of the hollowness inside can hurt. I am going through it again and there is not a damn thing I can seem to do about it. I am told by the bereavement facilitator at Hospice that this is "normal". As a man of faith all the proper 'cliches" are not working right now. Dead is dead is dead--gone for good--see ya. But --I got through it once and was OK. I will again. But, like it or not, you must feel the loss & emptiness first. It is a painful journey but it will be completed.

    1. Thank you so much, Larry. One thing about pain--when it's over, the good overshadows the pain. Like the birth of a baby, or marriage after a death. The new life is a blessing.
      Speaking of blessings--you are one. Thank you.


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